A Fleeting Solace
by solojones
Summary: Obi-Wan and Padme are struggling to hide the twins from Vader and the Emperor, while at the same time trying to confront their own inner demons. They turn to each other for solace, but to what end? Ch.6 up. Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: These characters and some parts of the story belong to George Lucas, this is just my own speculation.  
  
Note: This takes place during Episode III and is just my own speculation on one possible outcome. It's going to have more chapters coming soon, and is going to be pretty angsty because hey, it's Episode III. However, also because it deals with some issues not usually considered with an Obi- Wan/Padme relationship.  
  
This is my first real attempt at a fic in this genre and I desperately need some feedback seeing as I normally don't get much. Thanks ;)  
  
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It was a secluded planet. He was sure he'd be able to protect Padmé and her newly born twins there, at least for a while. But it wouldn't last long. They'd have to take more permanent action to keep Anakin's family safe, and it would have to be done soon. The Emperor knew. He knew that Anakin had a child, and he would stop at nothing to get the child for himself. The child would be strong in the Force, and a powerful ally if turned to the Dark Side. The Jedi order was all but extinct now-the work of Palpatine and Vader's purges. Yet there was always a chance that Anakin's child could be a threat, could become a Jedi. The Emperor knew this, but so did Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan knew something more- there were two. This made him all the more apprehensive as he struggled to find a way to hide the strong young ones from the Emperor. and from Vader.  
  
Vader. The name made him shudder subconsciously. When he had seen him, he could scarcely believe that inside that dark, menacing machine was the man he had called his friend and protégé. To think, that trapped inside that rigid machinery was a human being. To think, Anakin was trapped in there. Did he want to get out? Did he want to free himself from the prison of his own body and his ever darkening mind? A prison he had been put in by his own master, and friend. Obi-Wan shook away the thoughts. No, Anakin was dead. He had to remind himself of that. Even though his body remained partially, the man that was once Anakin was now nothing more than a speck in the mind of Darth Vader, if even that. Still, Obi-Wan couldn't help feeling that wasn't entirely true.  
  
Walking through the halls of their hidden dwelling afforded him little solace. It was a small building with the bare minimum of living comforts and nothing to do to pass the time but mull over the same bleak thoughts over and over again. Obi-Wan had been around the circular hallway several times, each time passing the door to Padmé's room. He knew she must be in there with the twins, and Sabé was probably helping her. They were the only other people within hundreds of miles, and he was desperately eager for someone to talk to so he wouldn't be lost within his own dim thoughts. Yet, he knew how precious little time she had with her children, and what joy they brought her. He didn't want to disturb that small amount of peace which still existed. Hesitantly, he stopped before her door and knocked lightly.  
  
"Hello Master Kenobi," Sabé said with a slight courteous bow.  
  
Obi-Wan returned the greeting and followed the young woman inside, closing the door behind him. Padmé was sitting by the window, rocking gently in the light of the setting sun as she held one of her children in a small bundle. She turned and smiled at Obi-Wan as he approached. "He likes to be in the sun where it's warm," she said, stroking the boy's soft cheek gently. Obi- Wan watched quietly, a melancholy smile crossing his weary features. Padmé stood and offered Luke to Obi-Wan. "Here, hold him."  
  
After a moment of reluctance, the Jedi gently took the child in his arms. Luke's small, round face beamed with innocence and promise.  
  
"He reminds me so much of Anakin," Padmé said with a reminiscing happiness.  
  
"Yes," Obi-Wan said sadly, "very much." The boy had such great potential shining in his crystal blue eyes, but that potential could still go either way. It could still be used for such a great evil. He could easily turn out like Anakin. "He looks tired," Obi-Wan said, searching for an excuse to get rid of the child. He handed Luke to Sabé.  
  
"It's getting near his bedtime," Padmé explained. "Leia's already asleep, but Luke always seems a bit more restless." She turned to her handmaiden. "Sabé, would you go put him to sleep? Then you can get ready for bed yourself. I'm sure you're tired."  
  
"Of course, milady. Goodnight Padmé, Master Kenobi," she nodded to them each before heading back to her room where she stayed with the twins.  
  
"I haven't seen you much lately, Obi-Wan," Padmé said as she studied her old friend. He had changed so much in the last two years. His light hair was now shorter, his beard more trimmed- a look more befitting a General. Yet he still dressed like a Jedi- tan tunic, heavy brown robe, and the ever- present lightsabre clipped to his belt- though he and Yoda were all that remained of the order. A twinge of sadness struck Padmé as she realized how Obi-Wan was clinging still to the Jedi- after all, it was all he'd ever known. And she knew the sadness he felt must be much greater. He never smiled anymore. Not so long ago, he had possessed such a wonderful dry sense of humor that you could see in his eyes and his half-grins, but it seemed like that man was someone else. The Obi-Wan with her now seemed so hollow.  
  
"Yes, I know I should have told you I wasn't coming to dinner last night," he said apologetically. "I didn't feel like eating. I was taking some time to myself."  
  
Padmé's face fell into a sad frown, and her eyes lowered. "That's understandable," she said softly. "I think we all have a lot on our minds." They both stood in bleak silence for a moment, until she couldn't stand it anymore. Lifting her eyes to his and lightening her tone some, she said, "But at least we are here, alive, and not alone." She smiled slightly, but Obi-Wan remained solemn. "Anyway, was there something you came to talk to me about?"  
  
"No I was just." He couldn't remember why he'd come in the room anymore. Was it to escape? If that were so, it had failed miserably- now he was worried about other things, like Luke. Still, maybe he should stay and talk for a while, he thought, then quickly dismissed the idea. What was there to talk about? He knew the conversation would inevitably get around to Anakin, or something else he felt just as deeply sorrowed about. "I just wanted to make sure you didn't need anything."  
  
She sensed his hesitation and his lie, but decided if he didn't want to talk she wouldn't force him to. Instead, she smiled politely and said, "I'm fine, thank you."  
  
"Well, in that case I'll be heading off to bed." He bowed reverently. "Goodnight, milady." Silently, he turned and walked out the room and down the hallway. Padmé thought she felt an almost tangible sorrow in his wake. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lightsabers sizzled furiously with each blow, the air pulsing from the energy. Through the darkness, Obi-Wan couldn't make out his opponent; but he could sense the towering dark presence through the Force. The evil was not a cold, calculating sort but a passionate, fiery anger- and it burned against Obi-Wan. He tried not to let himself be afraid, tried to calm himself, but it wasn't working. The familiar comforting blanket of the Force was thinning, pulling itself from him with each passing moment. As it did, he slowly became blind to his surroundings and his opponent. Suddenly, the adversary had disappeared and he could only see the small area lighted by the glowing blue of his saber. Obi-Wan twirled the sword around anxiously. Perspiration dripped down his face, and his heart began to pound furiously in apprehension.  
  
The air became eerily still, and then Obi-Wan heard the faint sound of an ominous mechanical breathing. He couldn't tell where it was coming from; it seemed as though it were all around him. Suddenly, a flash of a red beam blazed to life in front of him. Without the Force to warn him, he was too slow to block the attack- the blade lunged straight into his stomach, and through. He gasped, dropping his lightsaber, which rolled off, now extinguished. For a few moments, the lightsaber remained in his torso as his body absorbed the shock of the blow. He looked up to see a familiar dark figure standing over him, achieving a feeling of smiling even through his mask. Then he yanked his sword out viciously, wheeled on one heal, and walked slowly away, his heavy cloak brushing Obi-Wan's face as the Jedi sunk to the ground.  
  
Obi-Wan lay on the cold ground in the dark room, unable to feel anything but shock. Then a wave of agony hit him as his nerves came alive. There was no Force to quell his pain, nothing to grasp onto as he always had. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a tremendous cry of agony. His breathing quickly became frantic as it became harder and harder for him to get air to his burning lungs. As his consciousness began to fade, he opened his eyes slowly. Standing before him, glowing blue in the darkness, were hundreds of fallen Jedi. All wore solemn looks on their faces as their stares bore into his eyes; and at the front of the group were the figures of Anakin and Qui- Gon. Desperately, Obi-Wan stretched out a hand, reaching for his friends- but they wore the most disapproving looks of all.  
  
*****  
  
Unable to sleep, Padmé was roaming the quiet hallway restlessly, her velvet robe pulled over her sheer nightgown for warmth. Everything was still, until she suddenly was started by a muffled, though piercing, scream. Alarmed, she tried to listen for the source of the sound and finally deciphered that it was coming from a little way down the hall- Obi-Wan's room. She stopped outside his door, hoping he would stop, but the despairing sounds continued. They were the unmistakable sounds of a horrible nightmare.  
  
After only a moment's pause, she quickly entered the room, turning on the low lights and rushing to Obi-Wan's bedside.  
  
"No," Obi-Wan mumbled fitfully. "I'm sorry!" his words were muffled by his frenetic breathing.  
  
Padmé was reminded sharply of Anakin's nightmares. They had continued even after his mother died, and indeed had gotten worse. She never knew what they were about, and felt powerless against them. She could only try to calm her husband and hold him gently until the tide subsided. Lost in these thoughts, she forgot briefly where she was and who she was with, and only wanted to help again. She reached out one cool hand and gently pushed aside a few damp hairs from Obi-Wan's burning forehead.  
  
The sudden feeling woke Obi-Wan. His eyes snapped open and searched around blankly for a few moments as he tried to reacquaint himself with his actual surroundings. He felt a small hand on his head, and turned his eyes to see Padmé sitting on his bed. "Milady?" his voice was raspy and he was still out of breath. He tried to use the Force to calm himself, but it seemed strangely faint. All he could do was wait for his heart to stop beating so fast and stare in confusion at the young women.  
  
When he spoke, Padmé snapped back to reality and reeled in her hand. Then she quickly stood up and took a few steps back from his bed, her cheeks reddening slightly in embarrassment. "I heard you yelling," she explained meekly.  
  
He took a deep breath and sat up slowly. "I was having." he trailed off. Jedi weren't supposed to have nightmares. And yet, with the Force's calming effect dwindling each day, Obi-Wan had not been able to fight this one off. "I wasn't sleeping well."  
  
"So I thought," she replied. After moment she asked cautiously, "Was it a nightmare?"  
  
He nodded slowly, a little ashamed. Then, feeling a little uncomfortable with the situation, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. It didn't change the fact that he was only in his sleeping tunic and she in her nightgown, but it put him at ease a little. "Yes," he finally replied softly to her question.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
He smiled a little. "I'm sure it's nothing," he said. But he couldn't get the haunting image of the Jedi and the accusing looks on their faces- most of all the faces of his master and his apprentice.  
  
Padmé admired his strength, but wished he would open up a little more. Anakin had obviously withheld some things from her, but he had always made it clear what his emotions were. Obi-Wan was such a different person. She had known him off and on for 12 years, but even when they saw each other frequently, he hardly said anything about himself or allowed anyone to really get to know him. She considered him a friend certainly, but realized she didn't really know him at all. At least, she never knew what he was feeling. "It's just that. it seemed very bad. It might help to talk about it," she said, sounding foolish even to herself.  
  
Obi-Wan searched the young woman's sympathetic face, and felt even guiltier. Wasn't it enough that he was had the memory of Anakin's fall to live with without having to confront his widow? He knew how strongly the two had felt for one another, and he knew the extreme feeling of loss Padmé must be feeling. "I feel that, if I talk about it, it would only upset you."  
  
"It was about Anakin?" she asked softly.  
  
He nodded in reply and looked at the floor. He wanted to confess his guilt to her, which grew on him every moment he didn't; on the other hand, he felt too horrible to say the words out loud. Finally, he mustered the courage to look her in the eyes. "Padmé," he said slowly, sincerely. "I am so sorry."  
  
Her eyebrows furrowed. "Why should you be sorry?"  
  
"For Anakin." His gaze was full of shame. "It was my fault he was never trained properly, that he was so susceptible to the Dark Side. And then it was I who pushed him into that pit. who killed him." He paced a few steps away from Padmé as he continued. "It's my fault that all the Jedi are gone."  
  
"That's not true!" she insisted to his turned back. "Obi-Wan, no one blames you for anything- not for Anakin or the purges."  
  
His head down and his back still turned to her, he said quietly, "Only because no one's left to blame me." He closed his eyes and felt the lonely emptiness and the dwindling power of the Light Side. He concentrated on his own guilt and pain, wanting to feel what he deserved. Padmé's touch on his arm startled him from his reverie. He opened his eyes to see her now standing in front of him.  
  
"Everyone has suffered in this war," she said. "And it's not due to any fault of our own. It's Palpatine who's been behind all the destruction and killing."  
  
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Why should I be the one to live? I suppose. this way I can't escape the blame. Maybe it's my punishment to endure it all alone."  
  
Padmé was a little taken aback. Did he really feel that alone? What about the Force? What about her? Weren't they friends? Couldn't he commiserate with her? "You don't have to endure anything, and certainly not alone."  
  
He looked her stalwartly in the eye. "It is my burden to endure, milady. I'm not going to try and escape that. It's the least I can do."  
  
She gazed back at him sadly, but knew she could say nothing to change his mind. What was it about him that resisted any help or positive feeling? He was so stubborn. With her hand still on his arm, she leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek. When she stepped back, she saw surprise register in his eyes. "Goodnight Master Kenobi. I hope you sleep more restfully," she said with a friendly smile as she left the room.  
  
Obi-Wan stared after her retreating form in confusion. How could she be so kind to him? Did she know how much more guilty it made him feel, that he had caused such great loss to so gentle a person? He had killed her husband. Why didn't she hate him? 


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Sabé cooked a huge breakfast for the three adults. She carefully set out the various fruits and breads on the table in a neat fashion. It was the least she could do to try to brighten everyone's mood. Once everything was in place, she quietly walked into Padmé's room, where she sat near the cribs. She was cradling one of the twins, and the other was lying down, squirming. "Milady," she said in a soft voice. "Are you ready to come to breakfast?"  
  
Padmé looked up with a happy smile on her face. "Yes, I've finished feeding them, finally. Would you mind getting Luke?" she nodded her head toward the boy in the crib.  
  
"Of course not," Sabé said warmly, swooping the child up carefully and following Padmé back to the dining area.  
  
"Oh Sabé, it looks wonderful!" Padmé exclaimed in delight as she surveyed the table. There were two high chairs for the babies, and she set about strapping Leia into one as Sabé did the same for Luke. "There we go. Now I can finally eat something for myself!" She settled into a chair next to the twins, and Sabé took the one across from her.   
  
"I hope everything takes okay," Sabé said after a few bites.  
  
"It's great," Padmé said genuinely. For once she felt a measure of content, the first she'd felt in a long while. Despite what she knew was going on and had transpired outside the little refuge, she was able to focus on the wonderful meal, which made her happy. Then she noted the empty chair across from the twins, and her glow faded a little. "Where's Obi-Wan?"   
  
"I'm not sure. I haven't seen him today. He must still be in his room. I can't imagine him having anywhere more important to be than here," Sabé said teasingly. Though Sabé made light of it, Padmé was a little bothered. She had seen how distressed Obi-Wan had been over his nightmare and knew he had skipped several meals lately. Sabé noticed Padmé's face fall a little and added, "I can go get him if you like."  
  
"No, that's ok. I'll go. You stay here and enjoy these muffins while they're hot," she replied, taking one along as an afterthought. She reached Obi-Wan's door and tapped on it quietly, thinking how much they had been dropping in on one another lately.   
  
"Come in," Obi-Wan's even, muffled voice said from inside.   
  
Padmé entered to find the room somewhat dimly lit, and Obi-Wan standing with his hands behind his back and his eyes closed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt your meditation," she said as she turned to leave.  
  
"No, it's ok," he replied, his voice now lacking the trance-like quality. She stopped and turned back around to see him, eyes weary, looking exhausted. "It wasn't working very well anyway."  
  
She wondered exactly what that meant, but decided to switch the topic. "Sabé made a big breakfast this morning. I noticed you weren't there."  
  
"Yes, I can't very well disappear among a group of five people can I?" he said with his signature wryness.  
  
"I'm not that easy to fool. Anyway, I brought you a muffin in case you're hungry. You look like you could use something to eat."  
  
"I'm not really hungry."  
  
"Oh." She twirled the muffin around in her hand. "Are you feeling all right?"  
  
"I wouldn't say that," he smiled meekly. "But I'll live." The irony of the words struck him and he cast his eyes to the floor. "Sorry," he added.   
  
Setting the muffin on the counter and wiping the crumbs from her hand, Padmé moved closer to Obi-Wan. "Stop acting as though everything were your fault."  
  
"I can't help it," he said, looking up again. "I suppose it's just my nature to be a self-loathing loner."  
  
"There's no one else to blame when you're by yourself," she said half-jokingly. More seriously, she added, "I know how you feel."  
  
His brow knitted. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I was around Anakin when he was least guarded. I should have sensed something was wrong. I will never forgive myself for letting the one I loved be lost."  
  
"You're not a Jedi, you can't be blamed for not sensing it," Obi-Wan reasoned.  
  
"Enough of the Jedi for once!" she retorted, a little more angrily than intended. "For all their rules and wisdom, they only make people miserable. All Anakin wanted was to be close to someone, to put aside his pride and act like a human being. Don't you ever want that?"  
  
"Jedi aren't like normal humans! It's not arrogance, it's a fact. We've been trained to tap into something far too powerful to let it fall into the wrong hands. We have to be extremely careful."  
  
Padmé shook her head in dismay. "You didn't answer my question! I ask about you, and I get some programmed response you've been taught." She moved in closer. "Don't you even just want to act like a human and let yourself be close to someone? It's been months since Anakin turned, and already I'm about to go insane with loneliness. Don't you have any feelings?"  
  
Right now, Obi-Wan was feeling a little uncomfortable with Padmé's close proximity to himself. He tried to call upon the Force to slow his irrationally fast heartbeat, but it was slow in helping. "Of course I have feelings," he said softly. "I've just learned to… to not let them get in the way." He was sounding uncertain even to himself, and was still unable to stop himself from feeling extremely nervous. What was wrong with him?  
  
"You mean you've repressed them," Padmé countered. She inched closer to him, all the time keeping her eyes on his face. She knew she was making him feel uneasy, but she didn't care. "But that doesn't mean you don't feel the need to be close to someone, deep inside." Her voice dropped to an unmistakably enticing tone. "To be intimate."  
  
Alarm bells went off in Obi-Wan's head. Had she just said…? His face reddened involuntarily. He tried desperately to calm himself with the Force once again, but this time it was even more difficult. There was an unfamiliar, yet unmistakable desire building within him that he couldn't control. He wanted to bolt from the room, but he was frozen in place with nowhere to look but into Padmé's dark eyes. "I… it's not… not that I wouldn't want…" he stammered.  
  
"Then what's holding you back?" Padmé asked. Apparently, it was meant to be a rhetorical question, because before he had a chance to answer she had pressed her lips to his.   
  
He tensed in surprise; no one had ever kissed him before. After a moment, he allowed himself to relax, closed his eyes, and began to kiss her back. With an almost imperceptible movement, she began stepping back towards the bed. He noticed. He didn't care. She's right, he rationalized in his mind, what good is the code or the Order now?  
  
Without breaking the kiss, Padmé eased herself back onto the bed with Obi-Wan. She was throwing caution and values to the wind, she knew. She didn't care. Then suddenly, he broke the kiss and took a few deep breaths. Oh no, she thought, he's going to let his conscience take over NOW? "What is it?" she said between ragged breaths, fearing a haughty reply.  
  
To her surprise, Obi-Wan blushed and replied softly, "I… I've never…"  
  
She smiled gently. "It's ok," she reassured him as she undid his belt and tossed it aside. Silently, she pulled him down slowly to her with another kiss.   
  
He gently leaned into her and rested his body atop hers, hoping he wasn't crushing her delicate frame. But to his surpise, she only pulled him in closer. When she broke the kiss, he stared into her eyes and saw a spark there he had never seen before. It excited him and frightened him all at once.  
  
Padmé reached her hands inside Obi-Wan's tunic and touched bare skin. She felt him shivver beneath her touch, and she grinned. He was like an innocent schoolboy, she thought wryly to herself as she slipped the tunic off his shoulders- nothing like the overly eager Anakin had been. Something inside her twinged and almost snapped, but she pushed it aside. She wasn't going to let anything ruin this. Obi-Wan struggled out of his tunic, and seemed happy to be free of it. Still, he was hesitant and stayed there, leaning over her and stroking her hair gently. She began to kiss his neck and felt his whole body stiffen as she made her way up to his ear.   
  
Obi-Wan had no idea it was possible to feel like this. He had never been anywhere close to this aroused. On the other hand, he had no idea what to do and felt a little foolish being led on by Padmé. In a moment of supreme courage, he slowly slid the strap of her dress off her shoulder and began showering the soft skin with kisses. She stopped kissing him and sighed breathily in his ear, making the hairs on his neck stand up. He began to unbutton the front of her dress, hands shaking with his nerves. Padmé helped him, then began to remove his pants. Obi-Wan was a little more than nervous at this point, but was too caught up in the whole thing to stop now. Finally he felt the shockingly wonderful sensation of flesh on flesh. She wrapped her arms around his back and he leaned into her, letting his human nature take over. 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: Thanks so much for reviewing this fic, with all your varying opinions (I'm just glad anyone's read it at all). I realise that this is a very *different* type of Obidala, but that's why I wrote it. I have seen a lot of angst and fluff alike that didn't seem to deal with the characters in this way, which I think is quite possible and quite in character. It may not be the most romantic in parts, which kills me because I'm really a hopeless romantic. I'm just trying to explore a possibility which I don't think has really been explored in Obidala fiction. Please just bear with me here and try to keep an open mind.  
  
Two things:  
  
* I'm trying to write this as an exploration of two characters in a situation as opposed to as a couple in a situation. I thought this would help me approach things differently, maybe more objectively.  
  
* Just because a character thinks something doesn't always mean that's true. I'm just stating what they think, because again, this is about these characters.  
  
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Padmé slowly awoke and stretched. She'd slept for several hours, and figured it to be about lunch time. She rolled over to her right to see Obi- Wan; still asleep on his stomach, sheet pulled halfway up his back, head turned her direction. She considered letting him sleep, but she really wanted to get to lunch and didn't want him to wake up and her be gone. With a smile on her face, she scooted closer to him beneath the sheets and leaned down towards him. "Obi-Wan," she whispered softly. He didn't so much as stir. She gently shook his shoulder and repeated a little louder, "Obi- Wan."  
  
Obi-Wan was slowly drifting back into consciousness, though he was fighting it. He had slept so little lately. How had he gotten back to sleep in the first place? His mind was fuzzy for a few moments, until he heard someone say his name. That surprised him. Why was there someone in his room? His eyes fluttered open to see Padmé leaning over him. He jolted up in shock, trying to comprehend it. "Milady?" he said in a breath of confusion. When he realised that she wasn't wearing anything under the sheet, the morning's events came rushing back to him, hitting him like a tidal wave. His face blanched. When he realised that he wasn't wearing anything either, his face reddened in embarrassment.  
  
A little confused at his reaction, Padmé scooted back a little bit. "It's almost time for lunch. I just thought maybe you'd like to go eat something," she said quietly, offering a smile of encouragement.  
  
"I'm not hungry," he said quickly. He searched around frantically and finally found his clothes on the floor on his side of the bed. He slid out from under the covers and put on his under most tunic. Gathering the rest of his clothes in his arms, he tried not to look at Padmé too much. "If you'll excuse me, I don't feel very well." It was the truth, too. Everything seemed to be spinning as he dashed off towards his fresher, closed the door, and locked it.  
  
Padmé stared after him for a moment, then plopped down onto her pillow. She didn't have to ask what was wrong. She knew Obi-Wan must have felt like he'd betrayed his duties as a Jedi. Being married to Anakin, she had almost forgotten that love and attachment were forbidden for a Jedi. But, her conscience berated her, was what you did really out of love? She was taken aback for a moment. It was true; she wasn't in love with Obi-Wan. Of course she cared about him, admired him, had had a crush on him when she was younger. But she had always respected his position and her own. She felt deep inside that she had just used him in her time of loneliness. He was the only man around, and she let her emotions take control without thinking of how it might affect him. Obviously, it had affected him deeply. She remembered how he had looked at her- was he disgusted with her? He must be repulsed by what she'd done, how she'd seduced him.  
  
Padmé was beginning to feel a little sick herself, and pulled the sheet around herself in a wrap. She watched the door to the fresher, dreading the moment when Obi-Wan would inevitably exit. Would she even be able to look at him? How could she possibly express how sorry she was? She was a grown woman, a mother, and had been a wife. Yet she had let herself act like an out of control teenager. Shame was already beginning to swallow her.  
  
Obi-Wan splashed water on his face for a full three minutes before he felt stable enough to stand up straight. When he did, he avoided looking at himself in the mirror as much as possible, and dressed quickly. The last thing he put on was his belt. His lightsabre still clipped to the side made him cringe in remorse. He was a Jedi. He had always resisted any temptation before fairly easily. True, the ability of all the Jedi to use the Force had been dwindling for several months, but that was no excuse. He was a grown man, a leader, and had been a General. This was all his fault. Padmé was understandably susceptible right now. She had been through so much and was still a young woman at 26. Here he was at 37, supposedly responsible for all their lives, and he couldn't even control his own actions.  
  
Obi-Wan smashed a fist down on the countertop furiously. He finally caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and saw that he was growing red with anger. Anger leads to the Dark Side, he reminded himself. If he had failed in remembering the ways of the Jedi before, at least now he would remember them. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated on the Force, finally drawing some calming waves from it. They were faint, but at least they were still there. The anger within him was subsiding, and he was grateful for that. He deserved guilt, regret, but anger was futile. He remembered how much anger had been in Anakin, and what that had led to. Oh Force, what would Anakin think of him now? Not only had Obi-Wan destroyed his apprentice, but he had slept with his wife before she barely had time to grieve. He would be grateful Anakin weren't here to witness this, if only he hadn't been the one to kill him.  
  
He knew he couldn't stay in the fresher forever. He was going to have to go out and face Padmé. Drawing a deep breath, Obi-Wan opened the door and stepped out slowly. Padmé was now dressed once again, sitting on the right side of the bed facing away from him. The lights in the room were set a little low, he thought, so he raised them with the Force before moving over towards Padmé. He stood over her, not quite sure what to say.  
  
Head hung low, Padmé managed quietly, "You must hate me."  
  
That stunned Obi-Wan. It was he who felt like ashamed. After all, she was practically like his daughter in law. He cared about her and her safety, and it was his duty to protect her. "What do you mean? I don't hate anyone, least of all you. It's me I'm ashamed of."  
  
She looked up at him. "But it's not your fault."  
  
"I'm a Jedi, milady. Had I remembered that, neither of us would be in this position," he replied softly.  
  
She stood up, but was careful to put a few feet between them. "Can't you put aside your title and remember that you're a human being? You have weaknesses and desires like everyone else. And I led you on. I fed those weaknesses, and I'm mortified at myself for doing that."  
  
"Jedi is more than a simple title, milady," he rebuked gently.  
  
She sighed. "I didn't mean it like that," she said. "It's only that you must realise we all make mistakes."  
  
"Of course, but I take the responsibility for my mistakes."  
  
"And I for mine," she insisted. "And I more than admit that this was my mistake."  
  
Obi-Wan looked down at her. Her jaw was set; she obviously felt adamantly about this. "Perhaps we are both to blame." After a moment, Padmé nodded slightly. Obi-Wan hesitated before finally saying, "Well, I don't feel much like eating but I won't keep you from your own lunch."  
  
"You have to get hungry sometime. Please don't hesitate to come eat something when you do." She headed for the entrance, pausing before opening the door. "I'm sorry Obi-Wan," she said over her shoulder."  
  
"I'm sorry too, milady," he said as she disappeared into the hall. He sighed heavily and sank into the bed with his head in his hands. 


	5. Chapter 5

Padmé made her way to the kitchen, more than ready for lunch. She hoped Sabé had prepared the meal already. That gave her pause. Sabé. she had been left behind in the kitchen this morning when Padmé went to Obi-Wan's room. What would she be thinking now that Padmé was returning from that trip, and hadn't appeared in several hours? She stopped walking. How was she going to explain this to Sabé? If she just said they'd had a long talk, Sabé would be able to tell she was lying, but would not question her. That was the kind of friend she was. Padmé didn't want to lie to her, but didn't want to have to voice the awful truth either. But she couldn't hide from her handmaiden forever. She straightened her shoulders and walked into the kitchen, trying to look casual.  
  
A full table was set once again. Sabé was sitting at one end, holding Leia in her arms and feeding her from a bottle. She heard Padmé enter, and looked up with a smile. "She has your eyes," she said.  
  
"Yes, she does," Padmé said as she took a seat next to her friend and took the baby in her own arms. "I'm so sorry for leaving you with both of them for so long. Where's Luke?"  
  
"He's sleeping in the other room."  
  
Padmé looked down at Leia, who yawned. "I think she's ready for a nap, too. I'll just go put her down then we can eat. I'm sorry if I've caused you any trouble."  
  
"None at all, milady," Sabé said with a genuine smile. She hesitated a little, then asked as casually as possible, "Have you seen Master Obi-Wan lately?"  
  
They both knew it was a stupid question. The only rooms in the shelter were this one, Padmé's, Sabé's, and Obi-Wan's. It had to be clear to Sabé that she had not even left Obi-Wan's room sense she went in there hours ago. But Padmé knew her handmaiden would always be polite, discreet, and she thanked the Force for that. Maybe she would talk about this later, but Sabé knew better than to press the matter now. Padmé simply replied, "Yes I have."  
  
"Is he planning on coming to eat? He hasn't eaten in two days," Sabé looked a little worried.  
  
"He didn't say for certain. I'm sure he'll come get something if he wants," Padmé said, making it clear that she didn't want Sabé to go interrupt whatever Obi-Wan was doing now.  
  
"Of course, milady," Sabé said with a courteous nod.  
  
Leia yawned again, and Padmé smiled down at her sweetly. "Come on," she said in a tender voice, "let's put you to bed."  
  
Obi-Wan had been filled with excess emotions overflowing after Padmé left his room, and decided to work them out in a bit of lightsabre practice. After several burns from the small remote, however, he gave up and decided he had to do something else; he couldn't focus properly and that always irked him, which resulted in further lapse of concentration. He was also feeling a little light headed, and remembered it had been a while since he'd eaten. He hadn't done so because he hadn't felt like it. Now his hunger was outweighing his emotions.  
  
Slowly, he headed for the kitchen, hoping it was empty by now. But after seeing Padmé and Sabé with one of the children, he quickly ducked back the other way. Maybe he'd just stroll around for a little while until they had left. Of course, that was insane. There was no where to go, and he would soon be found, which would undoubtedly be awkward once again. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a small movement. Stopping and glancing toward it, he saw one of the children wriggling restlessly in a crib. He quietly entered the room and approached the crib, hands clasped behind his back.  
  
The child stared up at him through intense, impatient blue eyes. Clearly, he wanted someone to get him out of his small prison. Obi-Wan smiled sadly at the image. Luke was so strong in the Force; Obi-Wan could sense that about him already. His potential was untapped- it could be used for good or evil. He was all too much like his father. And Leia had that potential, too. With the two of them together, they represented amazing prospects; which was why they couldn't be kept together. It was a sad but simple fact, and the weight of it was growing on Obi-Wan's shoulders.  
  
Luke let out a small cry, and Obi-Wan shifted his weight, hoping he would stop. When he didn't, the Jedi carefully laid one coarse hand upon the infant's forehead and sent a few calming ripples towards him through the Force.  
  
"You're much better at that than I am."  
  
Obi-Wan turned his head towards Padmé's voice. "It's my job to be, milady."  
  
"It's your job to get babies to stop crying?" she said somewhat teasingly.  
  
"One never knows. There were all sorts of infants at the Jedi Temple, some of them full-grown men." A hint of a grin passed his features.  
  
Padmé couldn't help but chuckle. "True," she conceded. Nodding to the small bundle in her arms, she said, "Leia always seems calmer than her brother. They're going to be an interesting pair to see grow up."  
  
Now Obi-Wan stood to face Padmé slowly. "You know they can't be kept together," he said gently.  
  
"Of course, I only meant that it will be interesting to see them when they're older," Padmé said.  
  
"I'm afraid it might not work out like that, milady."  
  
"What do you mean?" her face showed her confusion. They had discussed the fact that the twins must not be kept together, but she'd always assumed she'd still be able to see them both now and again. How else could it be?  
  
Seeing the worried look in Padmé's eyes, Obi-Wan drew a deep breath. This topic had to come up sooner or later. He knew Padmé would struggle against his decision, but there was no other choice. "Padmé, once the children are separated, they must never know of each other. I've arranged for you to go with one of them to Alderaan, but the other must go into hiding elsewhere."  
  
Padmé was dumbfounded. "What?" she finally managed to gasp quietly. "No," she said, shaking her head. "I can't let that happen."  
  
"It's the way it has to be, for the good of all of us."  
  
"But. how can I be forced to choose between my children?"  
  
"You take Leia," he turned his head towards the crib, "and I'll take Luke." He faced her again. "The desert climate is more suited to a young man than a young lady, I should think," he said as gently as possible.  
  
"What? Where are you taking him?" She was beginning to sound a little angry.  
  
"To Tatooine, to stay with Owen and Beru. Padmé, please trust my judgement in this matter. I've thought about it quite a lot, and I'm no happier about it than you. But it's the only way."  
  
"You would just give my child over to people we hardly know?"  
  
"I promise I'll watch over him," Obi-Wan replied solemnly.  
  
Padmé paused for a second, not seeming to register the comment. "You'll watch over him? Are you going to stay with them?"  
  
"Possibly," Obi-Wan hesitated to give a definitive answer. He couldn't speak to the family's wishes. "But I promise that I will watch over him. Someday, when he's old enough, he could be trained as a Jedi. He is strong in the Force, Padmé."  
  
"You're both going to wait around on that Force-forsaken planet, for who knows how many years? You're just going to take my son and wait until the time is right. to do what? Overthrow the Empire?" she exhaled shortly and shook her head. "It's pointless, Obi-Wan. There's no hope that it will work, and then you'll have given years of your life to nothing! My son will have given years of his life to nothing!"  
  
"There's always hope, Padmé," Obi-Wan said quietly. "I can't promise that. that I won't make the same mistakes again. But we have no other options."  
  
She wanted to protest, to say that they should all hide out someplace safe from the Emperor and Vader. Maybe it could work, if they just faded away. Maybe he would stop looking for them if they stopped trying to fight back. But she knew Obi-Wan would never stop fighting back. He had lost too much to the Empire to just give up; and so had she. She realised, in her deepest heart, she wanted to keep fighting, no matter what the cost. The problems of the whole galaxy, when weighed against their own, were so much greater. No matter how much it tore her up inside, she knew in her heart what had to be done. She clutched Leia to her more tightly, and stared down at her peaceful sleeping face. A tear dropped onto the child's cheek, and she realised it was her own. "You're right," she said through soft sobs. "There's always hope." 


	6. Chapter 6

The small ship landed on Alderaan under cover of darkness. The landing platform was circled by guards, cloaked in dark outfits and standing watchfully at attention. Bail Organa was with them, waiting eagerly, a little nervously for the ship. It wasn't long before he thought he saw a silvery speck against the pitch black sky. It was hard to make out, but it was definitely there. In a few minutes, it had landed, its lights dimmed so as not to draw too much attention to its arrival.  
  
Slowly, the hatch open, and Bail approached the figure walking down the ramp. "Greetings Obi-Wan. It's so good to see you, old friend," he said with a smile as he shook hands warmly with the former general.  
  
The Jedi returned the gesture enthusiastically, allowing himself a smile as well, despite his inner grief. He truly was happy to see the Senator. "I'm eternally indebted to you for this service," he said solemnly.  
  
Bail shook his head. "I'm more than happy to do it. Padmé and Leia both need a safe home. I only hope I can live up to that expectation."  
  
"There's no where else they'd be safer, I'm sure," Obi-Wan replied. And indeed, he was being completely honest. He had thought the situation over long and hard. Senator Organa was completely trustworthy and Obi-Wan had full confidence that he would do everything in his power to protect Padmé and her daughter. After the death of Bail's own wife left him without a family, he was more than happy to take the Skywalkers and the handmaiden into his care.  
  
The two men both turned at a sound to see Sabé struggling to carry a large bag down the ramp. Bail immediately strode over and took the luggage. "Here, let me get that," he said as he took the bag.  
  
"Thank you," Sabé replied, following him to the speeder he had parked at the other end of the landing platform.  
  
Obi-Wan glanced at the retreating forms, then slowly turned and walked back up into the ship. Padmé was sitting down with Leia strapped into a small seat next to her. In her arms, she held Luke. Obi-Wan stood at the edge of the room, not wanting to disturb her, but knowing they couldn't linger out here for long. "Milady," he said softly.  
  
Without looking up from her son, Padmé replied in a choked tone that indicated she'd been crying, "Just another minute, please."  
  
"Of course." He shifted his weight and clasped his hands behind his back, waiting. After a moment, he decided it would be best if he left the room to give Padmé one last chance to be alone with her son. But as soon as he started to turn, she spoke to him.  
  
"No, please stay." She looked up through glassy, reddened eyes. Tears were freely dripping down her cheeks. After locking gazes with Obi-Wan for a moment, she looked away, back to Luke. "I'm such a mess," she admonished herself.  
  
"It's alright to cry, Milady." He approached her hesitantly and took a seat next to her.  
  
Padmé looked at him with a weary smile. "But you never cry."  
  
"Of course I do. I am, after all, human," he said. After a second, he reddened a little, and hung his head in shame. "Padmé, I truly am sorry. for what happened," he said softly.  
  
"Please, Obi-Wan," she said, lifting his chin with a finger. "It's in the past, and we're both at fault. But please, please put it out of your mind. I couldn't bear to have you out there on that Force-forsaken planet for who knows how long dwelling over it. I know you well enough to know you would." He nodded slightly, and she turned her attention back to Luke. "It's just almost impossible to believe that I might never see him again," her voice was full of sorrow and regret. She locked eyes with Obi-Wan. "You will take good care of him, won't you?"  
  
"I will do my best, milady, for what it's worth."  
  
She smiled faintly. "Then at least I'm reassured in that. If I can't see my son grow up, I'm glad you can. And if it's his destiny to become a Jedi, then who am I to get in the way." Her voice held a bit of uncertainty, but she was amazingly well composed given the situation.  
  
"If he has half your solidarity, he will be a great Jedi," Obi-Wan said respectfully.  
  
Padmé looked down at the small child in her arms. His blue eyes and downy yellow hair constantly called back Anakin to her mind. Part of her felt that, in giving him up, she was also truly giving up her husband at last. But she also knew, deep in her heart, that she would never fully be able to give up either of them. She gently kissed Luke on the forehead and murmured, "I love you. I will always love you." After lingering a moment, she turned to Obi-Wan, holding out the child to him.  
  
With great care, Obi-Wan took the boy and held him gently in his arms. The boy was so small, and yet Obi-Wan felt certain that his care was a tremendous responsibility. But it was a burden he gladly carried, and knew was rightly his. He looked at Padmé as confidently as possible. "I will do my best not to fail you, milady," he said sincerely.  
  
A hint of a smile touched the Senator's lips. "I know Luke will be safe with you."  
  
Obi-Wan was flattered and encouraged by her faith in him, his faith in himself having long since been torn down. But the confidence Padmé had in him reassured him a little. And the child in his arms gave him a faint, but definite hope. He smiled back slightly.  
  
"I suppose it's time I got on my way," Padmé said hesitantly as she unbuckled a sleeping Leia from her seat. She stood and slowly made her way down the ramp. Pausing just at the edge of the darkness, she turned back. "Obi-Wan," she said, getting the Jedi's full attention. "May the Force be with you."  
  
"And with you, milady," he replied softly. He held Luke in one arm, and palmed the close button with his free hand. The ramp slowly turned up; Padmé and Leia disappeared behind the cold metal door. For a moment, he was frozen. He knew he'd most likely never see either one of them again. Padmé was perhaps the only friend he had left in the galaxy, and now she was gone too. But if this was the will of the Force, he resolved, who was he to argue with it? He was a Jedi, and would always be one. His duty was above himself. Carefully, he strapped Luke into his small seat. For a moment, he stared at the boy's innocent face, so full of potential. What he saw in the boy gave him a glimmer of hope for the galaxy, and a small solace for himself. --- THE END  
  
*Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! 


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